


wherever you're going (i'm going your way)

by tkreyesevandiaz



Series: dancing!Eddie [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Dancing, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Instrumental Music, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Slow Dancing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, buckley/diaz family, buddie, christopher diaz mentioned, low light, they find their home, they're totally in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2021-02-07 14:41:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21459721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tkreyesevandiaz/pseuds/tkreyesevandiaz
Summary: "Teach me how to dance."
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Series: dancing!Eddie [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1556524
Comments: 27
Kudos: 423





	wherever you're going (i'm going your way)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! This is my first fic on AO3 and my first 9-1-1 fic, period! I hope you enjoy this one, but please be kind! Comments and kudos are much appreciated!
> 
> A very big thank you to @ariquitecontrary for beta'ing my work! This one is for you!
> 
> The instrumental song is linked in the text, and it does not belong to me! :) The title is from "Moon River" by Audrey Hepburn!

[Soundtrack (linked in story as well!)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ba0d-iloLY)

"Diaz, I need your help," Buck frantically exclaimed, bursting through the front door. Well-used to Buck's inability to knock and enter, Eddie looked up lazily at him from the couch, ignoring that Buck just called him "Diaz" again. 

"What? Why do you look so flustered?" It was one of the first nights off Eddie had in weeks, since he wasn't working and Christopher was at his grandmother's place. He wasn’t surprised at Buck’s entry; both had house keys to the other’s place.

Although he was always happy to see Buck, this particular night, he didn’t want to be doing anything. He wanted a quiet night in, but the look on Buck’s face had him thinking that it wasn’t going to happen after all.

Buck just stared at Eddie's form lying lazily on the couch. He was clad in just basketball shorts, and his full torso was on display. A bowl of popcorn was tipped slightly off the couch, and stray kernels were on the couch and floor. Some weird TV show that Buck didn’t register in his haste was playing, the volume turned low.

A low fire began to burn in Buck's belly, though he wasn't sure why. It wasn't like he hadn't seen Eddie shirtless before; hell, his first view of him was him putting his shirt back on.

Buck hadn't noticed how tired Eddie really was until just then. With his hair mussed up and him out of his uniform, Eddie looked younger than his years, but somehow, he also looked older with the dark shadows under his eyes, highlighted by the slight light. God knew that Eddie deserved a night to just be...Eddie. 

Mouth suddenly dry, Buck moved forward into the dim light. He had actually come to ask him for help with something he wanted to do for Maddie and Chim, but looking at his partner lying haphazardly on the couch, a new idea took form in his head; one that was absolutely out of character for him.

"Teach me how to dance." 

Eddie twisted his neck so fast that Buck was surprised that he didn't get whiplash. "Did I hear that right? Evan Buckley wants to learn how to dance?" He would've laughed out loud if he wasn't in shock.

A red flush spread on Buck's face and neck, but he stared at Eddie, whose face had gone white. "It's just dancing." Using some quick thinking, Buck made up a story. "I-I have a date...with someone who-who wants to go out dancing." 

"And you thought I could help you?" 

Buck shrugged. "You can dance."

"And how would you know that?" Eddie was still confused at where Buck got the particular notion. Eddie hadn't shared that part of him with any of the 118, just because it wasn't something that he advertised. Sure, he could hold a beat, move to it smoothly, but he didn't class himself as a world-renowned dancer. 

"Your grandmother," Buck grinned cheekily, tugging at Eddie's heartstrings. Eddie muttered a few curses under his breath in Spanish before caving.

"I can slow dance, but I am not doing any grinding on you." 

"So you can do that too?" Eddie ignored Buck's amused question and pulled himself up, feeling like this was some game of chicken. Setting the popcorn on the table, Eddie stood up to fully face Buck. 

Eddie finally noticed that Buck was clad in a dress shirt, with the top three buttons undone, gaping teasingly over his broad chest, a hint of the tattoo peeking. His normally gelled-up blond hair was wild, likely due to his anxious habit: running his hand through his hair. The black slacks completed the look, and he honestly looked like a complete package. 

"Dressed for the occasion?" Eddie teased, secretly admiring the fit of the shirt as Buck laughed. It was weird; Eddie half-naked, and Buck all prim and proper in his suit.

Eddie had known he was bisexual ever since his army days, but he'd never put any thought into it until the first day he caught glimpse of Buck. His infatuation grew into affection the second Buck brought Carla in to help him out with Christopher, despite the fact that he had still been married to Shannon.

Buck had a heart of gold, but it was so well-protected, despite what others thought about him. Eddie was also well-aware that Buck had never been with a man, nor had he ever developed any sort of feelings for one, until now. He'd noticed Buck staring at him a little longer than usual, lingering heated glances, a hint of fear in the way he stared at Eddie now; trust in his relaxed stance.

The moment grew more intimate as the two men stared at each other, neither willing to take the first step, nor willing to break the eye contact. Finally, Buck set his coat down on the entrance table, and walked towards his best friend. 

"Teach me," he whispered. Eddie had to tilt his head slightly to look Buck in the eye from his proximity, but the searching look on Buck's face had him frozen in place. It wasn't just dancing Buck was asking him to teach.

The second he touched Buck, his secret would be out. Every feeling he'd desperately been trying to bury in his heart would be right out in the open, and it wouldn't only scare him off, but it would affect Christopher, who held Buck in such a high ideal. 

Feigning nonchalance, Eddie stepped up to the mark. "Do you want me to put a shirt on?" 

It was a direct question to throw Buck off balance, but Buck smiled, wolfish, and said, "keep it off."

Honestly, it'd been a rough day, and the thought of clothes suffocating him wasn't something he particularly wanted. But he'd do it for Buck, just to give him one last out. With Buck _ watching _him, eyes a shade darker than their usual bright hue, the small thread of desire that had been circulating Eddie's system ever since Buck had burst through that door wove itself into a tight knot at the base of his stomach. Eddie fought his own body from having such a visceral reaction to his partner, one that was very likely to send him running for the hills.

He gulped down a sarcastic remark and stepped away from Buck.

* * *

Eddie shrugged and stepped towards the living room speakers, playing an [instrumental track](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ba0d-iloLY) that seemed far too romantic for this setting. Buck stared at the muscular plane of his back and the dips and grooves across the smooth, tan skin. The tattoo on his arm rippled slightly with the whole process. He watched as a muscle in Eddie's jaw jumped rapidly, furrowing his brow at the sudden rush of feelings that were now coursing through him. 

He'd been working on burying everything ever since he started feeling something for his partner, mainly because he was terrified it wouldn't be reciprocated, but also because being with Eddie meant a lot of things in both a professional and personal capacity.

"What's wrong?" Eddie asked, probably having noticed Buck's nervous tell, as he always did. Buck let his hand drop from his hair, sending a sheepish grin to Eddie, even as his heart pounded with anxiety. "Are you that nervous about dancing?"

"I probably have two left feet, honestly." His partner knew him well, and Buck was almost 100% sure that Eddie knew that he was lying about the girl, but was humoring him anyway. He'd never been so grateful for the man in his entire life, not even on the field. In the dim light of the living room, Buck felt more vulnerable than not and he appreciated Eddie not pushing him for more than he was ready for.

There was no need to mention that the anxiety he felt was from the force of how much Eddie meant to him.

"You'll be fine. Come here." Eddie maneuvered them so they were in more open space, and reached out. "The easiest way to do this is to first feel the music, and then just, one foot forward, one foot backward, and sway back and forth in a circle." 

Buck closed his eyes, listening to the track. It was forlorn in the beginning, but as the pace of the music picked up, he could almost feel the hope wafting off of him. Opening his eyes, he saw Eddie watching him intently, almost as if he wanted Buck to find words in the instrumental music. Buck swallowed hard before letting himself bask in Eddie's unwavering attention.

The same hope urged Buck forward towards Eddie, enough to smell the clean, sandalwood scent of him and something uniquely Eddie. Placing one hand on Eddie's waist, he stared at his pale hand on Eddie's slightly darker skin in awe, feeling a muscle jump in surprise. The contrast between tan skin and pale hands was pretty, almost invigorating in the dim light. It was all Buck could focus his attention on.

Now that Eddie was standing, the loose basketball shorts dipped lower, hanging off his hips delicately, a stark contrast to the man in question. The indented V on either side of his waist seemed even more chiseled in the low light. Buck brushed a thumb along one indented line, inciting a shudder from Eddie. He did it again, and again, and again; back and forth until Eddie’s hand on his stopped the motion, a guttural sound escaping his chest.

Buck dragged his gaze back up to Eddie, who was looking at Buck like he'd never really _ seen _him before. Heat hid in his gaze, and Buck could almost see Eddie’s pulse thrumming at the base of his neck. A fire lit within him.

Pulling Eddie into him, Buck clasped his other hand with Eddie's. It was a daunting task because Eddie's hand was balled up so tight, it took a bit. It lessened some of Buck’s vulnerability; he wasn’t the only one who was being affected by the situation. 

"Now what?" Buck wasn't hearing the music anymore, and neither was Eddie. The two men stared across the three inches of space between them.

Eddie scrambled through his haphazard mind for some way to dominate the situation. He took advantage of his free hand to drag it around Buck's waist, teasingly pushing the fabric against skin, and flattening his hand flat against the small of his back. He yanked Buck against his body, front to front, no more space in between the two, a challenge in his eyes. He could feel the planes of Buck's torso vividly against his own bare skin, despite the silk that separated them.

Caught off-guard, Buck looked open-mouthed at Eddie, who was now smirking at Buck's reaction to him.

"Keep your partner close." Eddie couldn't stop the words flying from his mouth. Jaw ticking with the effort needed to keep himself under control, Eddie started moving. He was sure Buck could feel Eddie's heart pounding against his sternum.

Back, and front, the two men swayed through the music, never breaking eye contact or ceasing their movements. "There is no girl, is there."

It wasn’t a question, but it was a way for Eddie to confirm what he thought he knew. Eddie couldn't help feeling both jealous and terrified at the mere thought of Buck having a possible date, though he had an inkling that Buck had been lying to begin with.

Buck laughed. "I don't even know why I try to lie to you."

"Why did you this time?" Eddie asked softly, a lot hanging in the balance of the question. The circling slowly halted, and the two men stood still, arms still wrapped around each other. Eddie's hand clenched the back of Buck's dress shirt tight, nearly pulling it out from the waistband.

Avoiding answering the question directly, Buck looked at Eddie, tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth. His grip on Eddie's waist briefly tightened.

"I want to try something. Don't freak out." Tilting his head slightly downwards, Buck dragged the tips of his fingers over Eddie's bare arms to cup his face. The tension hung between the two, palpable in Eddie’s held breath. Painstakingly, Buck finally pressed his mouth to Eddie's.

Eddie remained frozen. Out of all the ways he thought this night would go, this was definitely not one of them.

Buck pulled back, his eyes hiding the fear he felt. He had never kissed anyone and felt such a visceral reaction, but standing here, half in the dark with Eddie, there was nothing more than he wanted more.

"Eddie..." Before Buck could get another word out, Eddie was pushing Buck against the wall, and kissing him again. 

The two men were definitely well-matched in terms of height, with Buck only slightly taller. Eddie was stronger though, and felt far more solid than Buck himself. Buck was more than happy to let Eddie lead the kiss, moving his body against Eddie's in another kind of dance - one that he was well versed with.

Wandering hands clutched Eddie's body closer to Buck's as Eddie broke the kiss to immediately move his lips along Buck's jawline, ghosting lightly on the birthmark above his eye and moving down towards his throat. Buck shivered at the feel of Eddie's stubble against delicate skin, moaning low in his throat as Eddie found his way back to Buck's mouth.

Eddie tugged at Buck's shirt buttons and managed to ghost his hands underneath the silky fabric to circle a finger around his chest, where he knew by heart Buck's tattoo was. He could feel goosebumps appear wherever Eddie touched him. 

The music was complemented by the sounds of harsh breathing and panting with the occasional groan. Buck angled himself to pull Eddie further into him, if possible, and kissed him deeper and harder. The blonde’s hands ghosted up and down Eddie’s bare sides, sending frissons of heat straight to his groin. Eddie shifted so his thigh was slotted exactly where Buck needed him, dragging a groan out of him and capturing it all in the same breath. Buck slipped his thumbs teasingly underneath the waistband of Eddie's basketball shorts, his intention loud and clear.

Eddie swiftly took hold of Buck’s roaming hands and pinned them next to Buck’s head on either side with his own. He broke away from the kiss and dropped his head down, desperately trying to strangle himself into some semblance of control. The brush of cloth against his super-sensitized skin only served to chip away at that control. 

“Wait, Buck. Hang on. _Stop,_” Eddie panted, finally looking up to meet Buck’s eyes. His hands were still pinned to the wall.

Eddie looked steadfastly at Buck, keeping his voice even somehow. “What are we doing?” 

“Making out,” Buck said, trying to sound lighter than he felt. At the look on Eddie’s face, he let some of his vulnerability surface. “I don’t know Eddie. I just...it’s all come at me at once.”

“What has?”

“You have.” Buck’s words had Eddie feeling like he was the one pinned. Eddie stared at Buck, whose mouth had tightened with emotion. “I had no idea I could feel like this for anyone, not even Abby. Every day after that tsunami, I walk out my door promising myself that today’s going to be the day. Today, I’m going to tell you.” His voice broke around the words. 

The tsunami had been months ago, with only nightmares and faint scars on Buck’s face to speak for it. Eddie longed to brush his fingers along the sparse white lines, as if he could erase the memory from his friend's mind.

“Tell me what?”

“That...” Buck closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before steeling himself. “That I love you.” Eddie’s grip went slack on Buck’s wrists. Buck pushed away from the wall to curl his fingers around Eddie’s arms, not letting him back away. He knew his nails were leaving marks in Eddie’s skin, but couldn’t bear to let him distance himself. Cold air brushed against his overheated skin. Eddie's heart was pounding a mile a minute, as he distantly registered Buck's words with a combination of longing and hope.

“You know what this means for me, Buck. I’m a package deal. If we don’t work out, I still have Christopher to think about. He can’t lose you Buck, it would destroy him.” 

Buck ignored the pang in his chest when he thought of them not working out, but the fact that Eddie was so fixated on them _not _working out, and less on the even more likely possibility of them working out _in the very best way _had a spark of anger flaring up inside him.

“Wait, are you looking for an out?” Buck cocked his head in that signature way of his, ignoring the fear in his heart that Eddie didn’t feel the same way he did. Nothing in Eddie's body language gave away what he felt, which made Buck nervous. Eddie had nearly always been transparent to him, and Buck genuinely felt that he had a fair shot. Hell, if that kiss was anything to go by, someone should've been on one knee proposing by now.

“Why would you assume that my love for Christopher is contingent on you? There is no force in the world enough to keep me away from that kid, and I'm going to be there for him until you forcibly drag me out of his life kicking and screaming." 

Eddie didn’t know what to say to that. On one hand, hearing Buck solidify what he knew about Buck and Christopher made Eddie feel like even if he were to die in the line of duty, his son would still have a father. Briefly, his mind went right back to the tsunami, where Buck, bleeding, bruised, _broken,_ was trying to explain what had happened at the pier, looking like his world had shattered at his feet.

That was the day Eddie knew that there really was no better co-parent than his best friend. The fear in Buck's eyes was not about Eddie at all. It was for Christopher; the guilt, rage, defeat, steadfast hope of finding him again, scouring chaotic streets despite looking like he'd been at hell's door. His worry of Eddie hating him came last, he had been so ready to accept whatever Eddie deemed to be his punishment.

Christopher had always come first for Buck, and if there was anyone that rivaled Eddie's love for his son, it was Buck.

On the other hand, he’d only lost Shannon a year ago. He couldn’t walk into another hospital room with Buck lying in the bed, and walk out alive. On some level, Eddie knew that it was irrational for him to even think that. Buck and Eddie were both firefighters, they flirted with death every single time they went out on a call. Either of them had an equal chance of landing themselves into a hospital bed, but Eddie's main worry was Christopher, and his fear of someone he loved leaving him.

_ Again. _

Eddie scrubbed his hands down his face, realizing that Buck was staring patiently at him and that he hadn’t given Buck a response. Resignation was starting to creep up in those blue eyes, and Eddie didn’t like the look of it. Eddie stepped a little closer, deciding that Buck deserved a wholehearted explanation before giving him those three life-altering words.

“Buck, when I saw you pinned under that truck, my first instinct was to come for you, no care that there was a bomber standing right there. Hen had to physically pull me back.” Eddie turned away from Buck to turn the music off and take a seat on the couch, dropping his head in his hands. “That goes against every bit of training I’ve ever had. Not once have I ran into a situation without assessing it first; not in the army and definitely not out on a call. But for the first time, I would’ve. For you.”

Eddie was trying to convey exactly what he felt, trying to word it in a way that made Buck understand. “Then at Bobby and Athena’s house, when you started coughing up blood, I got scared to an inch of my life. I had been all the way across the room but I was the first to reach you after Bobby. It scared me Buck, to see you lying in that bed with a pulmonary embolism that could take you away from me in the matter of seconds. If not for Hen and Chimney...”

Eddie couldn’t even get the words out. He sensed Buck come around and sit next to him. Pulling his head up, Eddie took Buck’s hand in his own, still not looking at him. 

“After that, the nightmares leftover from Shannon’s accident and the tsunami changed. Suddenly, it wasn’t her in the gurney. It was you, looking so lifeless and defeated. It wasn’t a stranger in a body bag, it was you. It goes the same way every single time. I stand above you, not being able to do anything.” Buck brushed his thumb in soothing circles on Eddie’s skin, staying quiet. 

Eddie pulled his leg up onto the couch and faced Buck fully. Cupping Buck’s face, he kissed him again, pushing a passionate desperation against his mouth. “I wouldn’t survive losing you, _ mi amor _. I love you, so so much.” 

For the first time since he’d known the man, Buck felt Eddie’s hands tremble. 

“I’m not going anywhere. And neither are you.” Buck punctuated each word with a kiss. “I’ve had the same nightmare over and over too. I wake up in a cold sweat searching my entire apartment for the two of you, my mind still stuck back in those waves and it's always your voice that brings me back. But more than that, I need _you_. I need _my_ Eddie, the one who isn’t afraid to throw back my covers and tell me to suck it up.” Eddie choked out a laugh at that memory. “We fight to save others' lives, it's about time we fight for our own."

"I am fighting for my own. This is me fighting for my home. You and Christopher are my home, and I wouldn't have it any other way," Eddie whispered, watching the expression on Buck's face morph into awe. "Look around you. Have you paid attention to what Christopher draws?"

Buck took a glance around the drawings hung up around the living room, knowing that his apartment mirrored the exact same layout. His entire apartment looked like a kid-friendly home at this point, with drawings stuck to the fridge, stray crayons all over the place, juice boxes on the counter. 

He stood up to take a closer glance at the one nearest to them and found a sketch of a young boy with curly hair, red glasses and crutches holding the hand of a tall man with black hair and a slight beard. Right away, he knew that it was Christopher and Eddie.

The huge detail he failed to miss was Eddie _ holding hands _ with another man, blonde hair this time. Buck's eyes welled up with tears at it, knowing that it was meant to be him.

"Did you read the caption?" Eddie came up behind Buck and slipped his arms around Buck's waist, resting his chin on his shoulder. 

"It's Spanish, how am I supposed to read it?" Buck felt Eddie's body shake as he laughed. 

"This phrase is not that different from it's English translation, _mi amor_. Pay attention." Buck tried to shake off the fog as he focused on the crayon writing.

_ Mi familia _

"Mi familia." Eddie's husky accent rolled the words into something resembling a whisper, tickling Buck's ear. Buck finally let his tears fall, grateful for the child that made him want to come back in one piece, grateful that his best friend had absolutely no qualms about including Buck into their little family.

Twisting in Eddie's grasp, Buck kissed him suddenly. No words could show Eddie how much the gesture meant to him.

"This isn't the first one he's drawn, and it won't be the last for sure," Eddie informed him, slightly out of breath from the searing kiss. He could still taste the salt from Buck's tears on his tongue. 

Buck gave him a watery smile, before leading Eddie back to the couch. "The only thing I ask for the two of us is that we go slow. I don't mean anything we do with Christopher. I've never been so attracted to a man before, and I need some time...for other activities." Buck's tongue tripped over itself, the words fumbling into an explanation.

"We take everything at your pace, okay _mi cariño_?" Eddie cupped Buck's face with roughly calloused fingers, sending warmth through him. Buck smiled, turning around so his back was against Eddie's chest. There was definitely a lot that needed to be talked about, but in this moment, Eddie was more than happy to simply recline with Buck in his arms. A thought occurred to him then.

"Will you be my boyfriend?" Eddie asked softly, not sure if that would be pushing Buck.

"No offense, Diaz but I'm pretty sure we're already dating." A laugh spilled from Buck's lips. Eddie craned his neck to nip at Buck's bottom lip, stealing the breath from his lungs.

"Smartass," Eddie mumbled. "And don't call me Diaz."

"Whatever you say, _ boyfriend. _" There was a pause before Buck spoke again. “Can we learn to grind on each other now?”

Eddie let out a faux-exasperated groan as Buck’s laughter filled the quiet room, pulling a smile out of him. 

And for the first time in months, Eddie felt himself relax fully with his _boyfriend_ in his arms, and a complete home to find his way back to.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it as much as I loved writing it :) Leave me Kudos and comments :) 
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at [zeethebooknerd](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/zeethebooknerd) or on Twitter at [tkreyesevandiaz](https://twitter.com/tkreyesevandiaz).


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